What’s Up Abraham Lincoln’s Nose?

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There must be something!
That rock face is huge and there are holes,
and I know in Richie Rich there was
some kind of Scrooge Mcduck vault
with family mementoes,
or something. Am I remembering that film
correctly? Or am I making things up again.

Cary Grant also had some experience on
Rushmore, but did not enter the nasal cavity
and if I was him, with my big bankable star power,
I would have requested a trip to see!
What could they be hiding up there?
Highly detailed rock sinus clumps?

What about, perhaps, a gateway
to an underground speed train, that the Illuminati use
to travel between all the Target stores
(They are obsessed with Target,
they dig the circles, you see!)
in North America?

Maybe there is an evil lair and the
floor is made of lava, with glass flooring,
so you look like you are walking upon
the core of the Earth, but you will need some
super strong shoes, because your feet will melt.
Lava is quite hot, and this is scientific fact.