A Pome a Day for a Year

Imagine the classic 80s movie with
just a few slight tweaks!
Michael Douglas is Jack Colton, and instead
of using his chiselled jaw and dangerous
boots to melt the heart of Kathleen Turner,
arguably the best part of the film,
he is now using his flame of chaos.

So these snappers,
the nemesises of General Zolo
that Ira cannot stop looking at,
are chilling in their pools of water
and desperately wishing for Zolo’s men
to fall in and become dinnertime,
but Jack could easily just set fire
to all the enemy milia and give
the snappers burgers!
No more need of eating precious jewels!

Danny DeVito is Ralph
and with the power of flame against him
he would be a lot more cautious,
probably turn to the good side
a lot sooner – especially as Ira never
returned, despite saying how soon he would.
Please do not trust Ira,
but please do take a look at those snappers.